A decision to make... is it for better or worse?

Sekarang tengah hot itu Korean drama "While you were sleeping'.. lakonan Lee Jong Suk (LJS) dan Bae Suzy (BS). Sedikit penceritaan plot ini, LJS memainkan peranan as young-hot-handsome-like-to-selfie- prosecutor yang masih kira junior di jabatan pendakwaraya. While BS, seorang reporter yang berani dan disegani oleh karismanya. BS mempunyai anugerah bermimpi akan masa datang. Ada kebaikan keburukan. Tapi, oleh kerana supranatural gift nya ini, ayahnya mati walaupun BS sudah warning ayahnya. LJS, juga punya masa silam. Kehilangan ayahnya di usia remaja. LJS pula juga punya supranatural gift boleh bermimpi akan masa datang tp mimpinya banyak berkisar tentang BS. bagaiaman perkara tersebut boleh terjadi, drama ini merungkainya episod demi episod. BS merasa dirinya hopeless sb tidak mampu mengubah mimpinya. Tp LJS berusaha untuk mengubah mimpi tersebut. Bak kata LJS, setiap kali mimpi yang mereka ubah, perkara itu boleh jadi baik, boleh jadi makin buruk. Sebab seperti mengekang air dari mengalir 1 hala, pastinya haluan air itu akan terdivert ke arah lain which arah baru tersebut could lead to much better or more worsen. Jadi, a decision to make? is it for better or worse? Hari ini, saya mau kongsikan kisah yang berlaku dalam keluarga kami, as much as it very embarrassing us, tapi ada sesuatu yang ingin saya kongsikan di sini. Dalam bbp bulan lepas, keluarga kami dikejutkan dengan kes anak buah saya hamil diluar nikah. Usianya yang belum pun ambil SPM amat mengejutkan dan menyedihkan kami sekeluarga. Hubungan keluarga kami rapat, dan anak buah saya ini merupakan antara cucu terawal dalam keluarga kami. Seorang yang ya agak pemalu, tapi tetap mahu terlibat dengan pelayanan di gereja seperti menari. Menari adalah kesukaan..ehm makanan dia. Anak buah sy ini pun cantik ya lah mewarisi dari ibunya yg cantik juga. We knew that she has boyfriend dari kampung yg sama. I remember my sister, whenever when we balik kampung kami akan ada sesi girl talk. My sister lebih cenderung kepada anak buah sy yg seorang ini. so she keep reminding my niece to jaga diri. knowing that her bf also from the same kampung. But then, perkara yang kami takuti itu yang terjadi. Salah siapa? i dont want to blame any sides. So things had happened, its time to make decision. what shall we do with the baby, the father of the baby, and our niece. To be honest, never in my little mind did our family will came across with this situation. A teenager being impregnated as such young age..i thought that was only happened in western country (T__T). Yeah, i was that naive like that. To be honest, saya marah. i was very furious to the father of the baby. He is also at the young age, how come Lord? how come? this was my struggle. saya kesian dengan anak buah saya. of course kalau ikutkan law Malaysia, kami ada advantage sebab since my niece still consider underage, that boy surely high chances to go to prison. And for a brief moment, saya rasa serve him right. Who asked him to take advantage to my niece. He is already 21 yrs old. He should can think wisely compare to my niece. but come on...when it comes to sex attraction who will be able to resist? That's why, prevention is better than cure. Jangan main2 dengan api asmara. Alkitab pun sudah warning, jangan bangkitkan sebelum waktunya. i was at that moment already suggesting that to my parents, my sister as the mother of my niece. But, after a while, being a Christian, i took a while to think thoroughly. i prayed and i even called a pastor that i know yang boleh dipercayai dan ada pengalaman untuk handle perkara ini. Antara perkara yang kami bincangkan, adalah masa depan anak dalam kandungan itu. So, pendek cerita after consultation dan mengambil kira semua pandangan termasuk apa isi hati anak buah kami, we come to a decision like this. `no marriage is necessary. Dlm kristian, umur yang diperbolehkan kawin adalah 18 tahun bagi perempuan. Tapi kami sepakat, tidak kawinkan anak buah kami dengan lelaki itu. bukan sebab mereka x mencintai antara satu sama lain. Bahkan family lelaki itu mau bertanggungjawab, tapi perkawinan bukan main2. u know that. and i know that. and all of us know that. sebab sebagai kristian, apa yang sudah dipersatukan oleh Tuhan tidak boleh dipisahkan oleh manusia. Jadi bila suda kawin, there will be no turning back. You have vowed for better or worse, sick or health...semua itu janji di hadapan Tuhan. Jadi kami berfikiran, biarlah kesilapan (hamil usia muda) jangan tambah lagi dengan kawin di usia muda. That was what well at least, my sister (the mother of my niece), my 1st sister, my sister and I (there were 4 girls in the house) agreed. Knowing my sister juga ada pengalaman buruk dalam marriage, dan sy pun tau kesukaran dalam rumah tangga, i was not willing for my niece to take that road. However the church council did suggested if after 2 years, they still love each other and want to get married, then it for them to decide. `because of our 1st decision, so the baby is automatically considered none of the father of the baby business. We also cannot tuntut apa2 kecuali bbp sogit sebab kerosakan (because the damaged is done and involved education) masa depan, maka certain things that family have to bayar to my sister family. So yeah, the bigger question will be..how will be the baby's future... i cannot share detail about this but we already have plan for that also. Cumanya, all of our decision above, is it for better or worse outcome? banyak drama kita tengok kan even real life d western pun terjadi. Bila anak yang diangkat tau dia anak angkat pasti mengundang emosi anak tersebut. And we are fully aware any of our decision will impact the baby's future. Mungkin to us pernikahan itu x perlu. Tapi how if kami benarkan my niece and her bf get married? Again will the baby happy? Saya secara pribadi merasakan, itulah kepoutusan yang baik utk semua pihak. Tapi of course, bila saya memikirkan anak itu akan membesar suatu hari nanti, i wonder if we make the right decision then. Semua ini akan jadi persoalan. Cuma pada ketika ini, of course kami fikirkan anak buah kami lebih. Masa depan dia. Juga masa depan baby itu. One day, bila anak itu besar doa dan harapan saya, dia akan memahami keputusan yang diambil bagi pihaknya. Dan pada ketika itu saya berdoa, supaya kasih karunia Tuhan terus menyertai dia sampai marantha. Amen.

i am back

Yes. I. Am. Back

hello everyone...

sorry for the missing in action mode 😅 this is due to short term memories lose that i can't recall my password when i log out last year. Hence why i seem to stop writing... but i am not!

Anyway...it's been few months from my last post. And yes i am doing well with my new life.

Full time student.

Hell yeah...it is super great having  a 2 year break from work. no wonder most government servant looking for this opportunity. Why not right? Your salary is still there, but you not need to work up early, rushing to the traffic jammed or having early meeting or sometimes need to stay back till midnight at the office. not to mention, being scolded by your boss 😁

It is indeed an amazing feeling. Well of course it is, but let just say i am just being honest for what i felt being a student. However reality is that, being a sponsored student and a responsible government officer and being myself , i know i had a great responsibility towards government. There were more thousands who applied for this scholarship, but only about 600 been selected. So for me personally, i didnt take if for granted.

And plus, being full research student, i have my own responsibility also. Yes i have my own supervisor, but as a lecturer her job is to guide me and help me, but still in order to get the master certificate, i'm the one who need to push myself and discipline myself for my study.

Now that i am in semester 2, i know there is a lot of things that i should do. No one can help me but me. Writing a blog and writing a thesis definitely very different. And thats make me struggle in writing my thesis.

Anyway, this is just an introduction after being away for some time. i am not gonna burden with my struggle here. Whining doesn't help things get better isn't it?  So yeah, by hook or by crook i need to crack my head to start write again. (means to say, i need to rearrange and amend my chap1 to 3 again).

will gonna write more on some serious issue. but let me just start with this ya...

Till then, have a blessed day.

REVIEW: OLD KOREAN DRAMA

Nah..there you go... tajuk post sudah mengambarkan isi...

hahaha, saya tau saya tau...post trip JEPUN belum selesai. But then, nanti saja saya sambung sebab at the moment saya diserang semula penyakit KOREAN DRAMA ADDICT!

Kenapa? saya ada tinggal 2 minggu (actually less than that) untuk saya menghabiskan masa-masa saya di office. Kerja part saya pun sudah selesai. Tinggal beberapa lagi sebelum saya hand over kepada yang berkenaan. So di waktu2 berkenaan saya sangatlah boring...jadi to kill the time hahahaha...saya minta tolong lah kawan sy ni apa yang download kan korean drama untuk saya. Since banyak korea drama yang saya tertinggal..sejak last saya tengok 2011 jadi sy minta semula lah kwn ni tolong. Sebabnya saya ni tidak IT savvy. Mau download movie pun tidak pandai.

Pendekkan cerita,...saya tengok balik cerita2 hot era 2013 sampai 2015.

Pertama yang saya tengok The HEIRS (2013)

Well, saya ada banyak list mau tengok sebenarnya tapi saya pilih ni sebab saya minat Lee Min Ho. Sejak Won Bin, Bae Yon Jun, Kim Hyun Joong, ... Lee Min Ho adalah actor korea yang saya suka tengok. Since dia berlakon Boys Over Flowers, lepas tu City Hunter. Since ada Park Shin Hye so saya ingat saya tengok dulu drama ini.

Overall, saya bagi 7.5/10. As usual, LMH memang handsome..suka watak dia fighting scene. Sesuai. Sayangnya dia x dpt masuk dlm army enlistment. Kalau tidak mesti dia lagi 'manly'macam SJK. hehehe. PSH lawa..tapi macam ada yg kurang. Will talk about it dlm drama Pinochio.

Saya tengok the Heirs ni betul2 tengok tiada lompat2. Setia. Wlpn still ada kurang sy rasa, still saya terhibur lakonan Kim Ji Won dengan adik Jesica (ex SNSD) tu...suka betul. Rasa bila korean actress speakin wow sangat!

Then saya tengok Pinochio. (2014-2015)

Kredit: Google

Ok jujur, Lee Jong Suk bukanlah dalam senarai kesukaan saya. Dan saya rasa ini drama pertama saya tengok dia berlakon. Drama ni pun ada part yg sy lompat2. Tapi, mengejutkan saya, bila chemistry antara LJS dengan PSH adalah Daebak!

Compare to LMH, saya rasa PSH sangat sesuai dengan LJS. Bak kata SJK dalam fan meeting dia, 'putong-putong'ah. (Nervous). Each time scene mereka dua, saya rasa nervous. That was my feeling when i was watching SJK and SHK for the first time. Kalau SJK and SHK adalah best couple, LJS dan PSH adalah best young couple!

Suka sangat lakonan SH dalam ni. Hidup betul dia sebagai ada sindrom pinochio. Dan dia lebih nampak cantik banding dia dalam the Heirs. Probably, mungkin saya tidak berapa suka cerita çinta darjat'...

Saya habiskan cerita dan still rasa 'putong-putong ah'. LJS undoubtly very handsome. Cuma, still ada lacking emotion saya tengoklah. But nevertheless, he execute his character very well in that drama. I wonder kalau dia suda masuk army. U knowlah kan, SJK lepas keluar army aura 'manly'dia tu sangat kuat. no wonder 2016 is his year!

Having said that, sekarang list kesukaan pelakon korea berubah.

Pertama- Song Joong Ki (woaahhh saya suka betul dia...but not as his fangirl but more to kikyo shippers)

Kedua - Lee Jong Suk (ni barulah suka pandang pertama...hahahaha)

Ketiga - Lee Min Ho... (handsome dan ada carisma)

Manakala kalau pelakon perempuan, buat masa ini, saya masih listkan Song Hye Kyo, Choi Ji Woo dan terbaru PSH masuk dalam senarai saya. So far, apa saja tentang durang sya suka. hehehe Kemungkinan Kim So Hyun (pelakon muda) bakal masuk list saya. 

Btw, lupa bagi utk pinochio saya kasi 9/10. Saya suka yang berakhir dengan wedding. hahaha. Thats just me who like fairy tale story. hehehe

Itulah orang cakap, once korean drama fans will always be their fans. 

Till then.

Thank you for reading.

Trip to Japan_NAMBA

Kalau post saya sebelumnya kami selesai di Universal Studio Japan..

Lebih kurang mau dekat jam 6 barang kali tu kami keluar...dan kami terus headed to Area Namba pula.

Dari USJ patah balik... kami naik Sennichimae Line (Pink Line) menuju ke  Namba...

ada sedikit lawak kami di situ. sb dari USJ kami guna JR Line. patah balik pg Bentencho menggunakan Chuo Line (green line). Tapi itulah silapnya kami ini, kami bayar tiket sampai azawa saja sb ingatkan nanti kena beli tiket baru ke Namba (azawa pertukaran line dari green ke pink line). Sampai di azawa kami tercari2 mana mau beli tiket sb TIDAK ADA. Unless kau keluar station.

ada lebih setengah jam juga di sana duk bincang2 dengan tu pakcik. sampai pakcik jepun tu pakai ipad dia cakap bahasa jepun suh tranlate p english. Husband saya pula cakap english to japanese. sampai satu tahap, saya belasah bahasa melayu. Pun tidak jalan.

Last2, x tau mcm mana pakcik tu mulai faham ka yg kami ni silap bayar sedangkan kami mau ke Namba. Terus dia cakap dengan..just pay at the counter when u reach at namba station (ok..ini bukan totally english ya..siap bahasa tubuh bagai!)

Oleh kerana masa lama situ, kami sampai di Namba sudah mau dekat jam 8 malam.

Namba memang terkenal waktu malam. Tapi kedai2 di Jepun ni semua tutup jam 9 malam waktu Jepun. Jadi kami setakat jalan2 sekejap dan ada juga lah terjumpa souvenir untuk di beli..hehehehe

so enjoy the pics.

Wajib bergambar sini, sb itu ketam2 tu famous

ramai betul orang korea/chinese masa ni. Semua sibuk ambil gambar dengan tu lelaki

Dulu Japan dgn Korea ni x berngam sb political issue. Tapi tengok jak sekarang, iklan Choi Ji woo (winter sonata heroin) pun ada terpampang besar di sana.

Shin Shui Suji Street.. Panjang betul tempat shopping di sini. Dari famous brand to local brand...

Di Namba, sempat ambil gambar 4 ni saja. Sebab banyak cari souvenir plus kaki sudah penat berjalan. Belum makan apa2 lagi. Itu yang dalam 845 malam mcm tu kami beredar balik ke base camp kami di Osaka. 

So total habis duit:-

souvenir - 2400 Yen.

Tiket - 500 yen

Till the next story that would be Kyoto...

Thanks for reading!

Lesson Learnt

So the long holiday is finally over.

While most of malaysians 'pulang kampung' and celebrated the Raya Festive holiday... me was the other round!

Something happened at my home, that somehow make all of us didnt go anywhere.

So 5 days at home, and me being stay-at-home-mother really gives me a lot of headache.

The 5 days, i cooked almost every day...attended my children tantrum everyday...being their 'referee' every day...washing them cleaning them...

fuhhh... i really couldnt imagine hows is my life for the next 24 months being a fulltime student and also SAHM. Will i ever be able to write my thesis with all the chaos? huhuhu

But the good thing is that, i finally resolved this 2nd child syndrome by Jayden.

The 5 days, i tried my very best to understand his needs and be patience at all cost just to make sure every of them feel my loved to them.

Jayden is a good boy. He can really be a sweet son to me. Because he is the only child (at the moment) who can understand me and the one that i can ask for help.

The only thing is that, he wants my fully attention.

It is hard when the 3 of them really close to me and wants me all the time. But love them anyway...they are my sunshine!

On the other note, I learnt so many things...things that I took for granted. I couldn't really share what it is, because it was the most embarrassing moment for the whole time of my life.

But that was my biggest lesson learnt!

The 3rd one, I learn to not be selfish especially when someone ask me for help. Especially in term of money. Even though, i have my own kekurangan but i learnt that when someone ask for help, in u still have the capacity to help people, just do it. and never delay the help. Because u never know when u are in that position.

Yes, I learnt my lesson there.

Though it hard, but I believe God never leave me.

Thank you Lord.

Till my next post.

Thank you for reading!

Sambung Belajar

You know ever since  I got the HLP result I really want to write it here as a part of my journey..but I need to wait until i really got the officially result..

fuhh..praise the Lord!

So my journey to further my studies, started last year. You see, I have this dream or vision that one day I will take master. But year by year, when I heard my friends got their HLP even some of them took their own initiatives pursuing their study without HLP, I do feel jealous sometimes. But at that time, I still blur because I don't know what field i want to take. I just don't have idea. I cannot take on engineering subject because i didn;t practise it anymore, so it will be totally bunuh diri if I try to continue is that subject.

Being a government servant, if you plan to continue ur study using HLP, at least you have to come up topic or research proposal that related to you job or at least, something to do with the government. So because of that, i have been delaying my dream...i even almost gave up on it!

But that's not what God want me to do...give up! He already plan something BIGGER for my future. And that's what I think, being in this current department really change me especially in my way of thinking! My senior officers urged me to apply HLP and they even suggested me few topics. At the same time, my husband also insisted me to try apply HLP. And he knows that how blur I am, so he did gave me few tajuk.

But finally, God gave me inspiration using my own situations to came up with a topic. Never did I thought Joshua's condition will lead me to this topic.

Anyway to cut the story, I managed to get thru' the interviews. The panel seems very pleased with my presentation and they suggested to me IF i get thru this, the encouraged me to focus on kids with special needs.

So then the waiting challenge is begin...

And when the 1st official announcement, unfortunately I didn't success! Saying my marks was below the 550 slot (given for master applications). But they gave me second chance. At 1st, i hesitated to try knowing the consequences. But once again, I prayed to God, i said 'Father Lord, I dont know if i am qualified enough to pursue my master this time around. But I just want to try this. Pls help me. If You see i am not ready, pls disqualify my application. I promised I will do my very best the next applications, even though I am not really sure will be happen in the future"

So that's it. I tried for the 2nd time, I submit my 'rayuan'.

2 weeks after, the result is out. And this is what I want to say...and experienced what God had promised in Revelations 3:8

"I know your works. Behold, I have set before you an open door, which no one is able to shut. I know that you have but little power, and yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name."

and yes, with God favour upon me, my rayuan is been approved and to add on that, I got HLP.

Praise the Lord.

so, thank You Jesus. Indeed, You open my door, with no one can shut it. And here I am, i want to thank for all Your goodness and favour to me. Now I got university offer letter and on top of that, I got supervisor! I will do my very best in my studies and I know I will not alone in this journey for you Lord Jesus will be with me all the way!

Thank you Jesus!

sharing with you my happiness.

Thank you for reading!

#longoverduehoneymoon trip _ Universal Studio Japan

Hi hello

Sorry terberhenti sekejap...bukan apa saya kena tapis dulu gambar apa yang sy mau upload. Kena resize gambar lepas tu ada kerja sekejap jadi terdelay lah penceritaan trip saya ini.

Apapun, lets continue...

So, what is so special about Universal Studio Japan, Osaka?

Ehm, I cannot give you the answer since i've never yet been to other universal studio...paling dekat di Spore pun belum sampai...tiba2 di Osaka suda jejak kaki..pelik kan. 

So, untuk ke USJ from our hotel, we took chuo line -- the green line-- that cost us 160 yen each. But we have to stop at Benchento to change to JR line (the government train). From Benchento to nishikujo have to change line to universal city. So sorry i couldnt remember the train fare... we didnt use our KTP (pls refer to my previous post) since we going to use it to Kyoto, Nara and Kobe.

Pic: JR Line station at Nishikujo

pic: all JR line is in orange color. quite look old but still very clean

After some tersilap berhenti train, we finally managed get back to the right station. hehehehe.

Pic: warm welcoming greetings from USJ

pic: USJ is so big. you really need at least 1 whole day to finish all the place inside the USJ.

entrance fee: 7400 yen each

we didnt take the express pass because I didnt want to play the games. Gila scary! Besides, i am too old to have 'panik jantung'. So no more roller coaster. That's why sightseeing is just enough for us. That fee is very expensive you know about RM279.72. so since we didnt play, (except at Spiderman house) so we really took our time enjoy the views and took many pictures there!

pic: 1st time ambil gambar dengan Pink Panther. Terasa budak2 semula

pic: this is the best ever for me! Who doesnt love Harry Potter. 

see: it's like a dream come true. The train quite similar to the movie

see the view. The best i must say!

Ok, orang Jepun ni selain budaya displin mereka yang tinggi, sikap friendly mereka, pembersih..satu hal yang saya perhatikan ialah mereka sangat sporting. Masa masuk USJ, saya perasan mereka suka pakai baju (dlm group) tema. Ada yang pakai baju Harry Potter, Minions, ada yang cat muka..pendek kata sporting lah. Dan paling best, bila kita mau ambil gambar dengan mereka, mereka sangat happy!

pic: The Hagemaru Clan. Ramai student Jepun, mereka ni sedang buat field trip

Ni lagi group minions.

Banyak lagi gambar, tapi yang lain saya suda upload di FB. Tidak payah lah benda yang sama kan. Tapi saya sangat happy lah dpt experience masuk USJ ni. Husband pun happy. Sambil tengok gelagat orang Jepun. Memang membuka minda betul lah. Will I go here again? I will but next will be with my kids.

ambil kenangan bersama di sini.

So, kami keluar dari USJ sekitar 6 petang mau dekat jam 7 suda. Sebab next destinasi kami adalah shopping di Namba. Katanya Namba ni happening masa malam. 

Nanti saya update cerita Namba pula ya.

Till my next entry.

Thanks for reading!