Morning...

As I shared to you guys before this my son Joshua had just diagnosis by the doctor as an autistic boy. So i started googling up what therapies that can i follow and do at home..looking for support group at FB. Search at youtube for visual learning. Reading other mom blog about their experience having autism child.

And yes by just doing it...I just can't stop sighing.

Can I do it? I doubt myself.

All that I can think is how will i do that when i have another sons in the house that also need my fully attention. Especially my baby who is just turn 3 months old. Still fully breastfeeding and now he can already regonized my presence. And I will feel forever guilty to my 2nd son jayden. Our time bonding together really really short that I barely remember how was he look like when he still a baby. Jayden is now at my MIL house at Sabah. My parents already asking me take him back to kl. My siblings keep asking me when Im going to take Jayden. That just make me more sad. There is a lot of things i need to think and do at the same time. And I just dont know where to start..

I just got back to work from my maternity leave. August is a very crucial month to me as I need to fill the form for my confirmation post. And I know I done nothing for the past 3 months to qualify me. I wonder how will my boss value my mark.

My husband is busy focus to his proposal to further his studies doing master. Hoping that when his jabatan approve his application he will have time to concentrate to our son Joshua. Compared now, both of us is bind with the 8-5 clock. So for the time being we just can only follow all the schedules given by HUKM.

To opt for CTG is just impossible for me as I (my and husband and I) had a lot of commitment. We just bought house on our own. So a lot of money (included those money we borrowed from our families) had been used and have to pay back.

But even I have to go through this situation...I know God is with me. He is there to help me. It is hard, I know. But I cannot go thru it by my own. I need Jesus. And that is what my Lord do to our family.

I know we will pass thru this. I have faith Joshua will be recover. I just have to put my faith and trust Lord Jesus Christ.

Bapa di Surga, apapun yang berlaku dalam kehidupan ku tidak ada satu pun yang berada di luar pengetahuan Mu. Tolong aku ya Bapa dengan iman ku yang sekecil biji sesawi ini untuk menempuh keadaan yang sedang ku alami. Saya tahu saya tidak bersendirian. Engkau ada beserta ku dan keluarga ku. Aku serahkan Joshua ke dalam tangan mu ya Bapa. Jadilah kehendak Mu dan rencana Mu keatas Joshua. Berikan kami suami isteri hikmat untuk apa jua kaedah membantu Joshua. Dan kami percaya Engkau adalah Sumber yang menyediakan tepat pada waktunya. Terima kasih Bapa. Dalam nama Yesus, aku berdoa. Amen.

Joshua o Joshua...

Beberapa waktu ini, saya merasakan saya perlu menulis lebih banyak mengenai Joshua. Sebab saya jarang-jarang mengabadikan journey saya bersama Joshua dalam blog ini. Tapi lately, bila sudah mau memasuki third trisemester untuk 2nd pregnancy, suddenly the urge to share anything about Joshua itu ada. Rasa macam, sebelum saya lupa better saya tulis. 

So last holiday, adalah giliran di kampung saya. Salah satu plan saya untuk Joshua adalah membawa dia menikmati suasana laut. So pantai yang menjadi pilihan saya adalah Tanjung Simpang Mengayau. Ya, sebab Kudat is blessed to have so many beautiful beaches so i need to choose..hihihi (pada hal mau pg Tindakon Dazang tapi tidak berbaloi sebab adakah patut mau masuk pantai pun kena bayar..ridiculous betul!)

Kenapa saya mau bawa Joshua jalan2 di pantai, sebab antara faktor utamanya adalah Joshua ini boleh kata anak bandar. Lahir saja di kudat tapi membesar di seri kembangan, selangor. So Putrajaya, KL adalah macam taman permainan dia. So sebagai generasi alpha (cuba check ada ni dalam internet), gadjet adalah perkara yang tidak asing buat dia. Jadi untuk mengurangkan kebergantungan joshua kepada ipad... sy perlu lakukan sesuatu.

So inilah peluang keemasan saya. Bawa pergi pantai. Kenal pasir. rasa bau laut.

Saya tahu Joshua bukan macam budak lain. Maksud saya, Joshua ni kurang adventure sikit. compare to other kids dia bukanlah jenis yang terus berlari ke sana sini bila nampak benda baru. Dia ni jenis shy shy cat. Tapi saya tidak menyangka lah Joshua ni takut ombak...hahaha. Kebetulan masa tu air laut tengah pasang. So ombak dia gila mengaum kuat. Si kawan ni pun berpeluk erat sama daddy dia lah sampai tidak mau turun pergi pasir langsung.

Macam ni lah Joshua. Melekat macam apa saja dengan daddy dia.

So ubah plan. Nasib bawa kolam plastik. Isi dengan air laut ada pasir sikit merasa jugalah joshua bau air laut. Tapi dengan saya2 lah duduk dalam kolam tu. hihihi

So inilah pengalaman pertama joshua di laut. :)

A Belated Birthday post

17.1.2014

Joshua genap dua tahun

Siapa sangka saya ada anak usia dua tahun...ooo looks like i'm getting older....

Last year, for his 1st birthday we decided to throw not so called a party to him more like a thanksgiving day for Joshua therefore we did it at the church, we shared it with our friends and family. But this year, we decided (actually it is me decided to) just the 3 of us only. 

But I promised to my son, later when he is 5 years old then we do a big party for him...by the time come, Joshua I'm sure he have friends that he close to and he sure can talk already...hehehehe (my pray)

Just a very small celebration...

A 25 pieces of cupcake (white blue theme made by my friend Rachel Ruran..yummy and very recommended) and his dad bought Joshua a CAR for his 2nd birthday.

Just like what u see here;

Soon Joshua will become a big brother to his little brother/sister...

I pray that Joshua will grow up healthy, and loving to his adik, taat pada ibu bapa, hormat pada orang tua dan takut akan Tuhan sesuai dengan namanya Joshua Raphael (Joshua = God will save, Raphael = God will heal)

Much love,

your mummy

Monday morning

So here come the second week of January...

Blessed mondAy everyone...