I'm Back guys....

It's been a long time..without me in this world of blogging.. hikkss macam bunyi lagu yang biasa didengar kan...

anyway...how are u uolls?

My last post was on my birthday that was on the 9th of Mac..pheww quite some time neglecting this space..

Where have I been? I guess some of you might ask this question. While some of you had known the answer!

Well first and foremost.. Praise the Lord I just gave birth to a wonderful and amazing baby boy on the 24th of April. His name is Jathniel Ethan. I will show you his picture in the next post (actually i forgot to bring hp today..and all his pictures is in it) or u can follow me on the Instagram.

Oklah....that's all for now. Will story mory more on the arrival of my 3rd baby in the next post. Till then, stay tune and pls be patience while my mood of writing is back here with me.

God Bless

Thank You Lord

I come before You today

And there's just one thing that I want to say

Thank You Lord

Thank You Lord

For all You've given to me

For all the blessings I can not see

Thank You Lord

Thank You Lord

With a greatful heart

With a song of praise

With an outstreched arm

I will bless Your name

Thank You Lord

I just wanna thank You Lord

Thank You Lord

I just wanna thank You Lord

Thank You Lord

wowww

I am blessed.

I am blessed not because of what I have to today...

I am blessed not because what I have done in the past

I am blessed because I have you Jesus.

I am blessed to be your child

I am blessed because not matter what circumstances that I have been thru..all the hardships...You Jesus never leave me alone...

I am what I am today because of your Grace Lord Jesus

Because of that I just want to Thank you Lord...

Thank you for the 32 years that You have given to me...

To breathe the air...

I love you Lord.


Always your child,

Renny.

this shall pass too

Woaaa

lamanya tidak berupdate...

seriously makin jadi pemalas jari jemari ini untuk menaip...

saya semakin menghampiri penghujung kepada my 3rd pregnancy process.

I told u, pregnant and having a 3yrs old toddler and 10mths baby really not a very happy situation for me (at least!)...

I've struggled here and there..to do my duty as a mother and a wife and a working woman!

Kalau ada pengukur kepada air mata..saya rasa sudah tidak terkira air mata yang berjujuran...

But everything happened on its beautiful time...

kalau dulu...jayden bangun malam lebih dari 3 kali...

sekarang kadang 1 kali kadang pagi jam 6am baru bangun minta susu and by the time saya sudah bangun mau bersiap...

yes...u just keep to remind to urself..every hard season shall pass.... u just need extra patience and patience and patience...

nothing more and nothing less...

So here I am...menghitung hari untuk memulakan cuti panjang saya sekali lagi....

x lama lagi...

wish me luck...

Syukur ku disebalik susahku

Makin malas menulis...???

Tiada idea???

2015 baru 1 post? biar betik!!

Ya sahabat2 ku sekalian alam....

makin teruk kan blog ku ini...

sejujurnya bukan malas menulis bukan juga tiada idea..tapi banyak suda taip tp didelete sebab berfikir...perlu ka....

sekarang ni...ramai benar suka memanipulasikan maksud tulisan...yang tidak benar dijadikan fitnah..dan macam2 lagilah

itu yang malas mau taip tu.. mau curahan hati...nampak terlalu vulnerable lah pula orang bilang nanti..

last2 saya antara blogger yang menulis sebab mengikut apa kata orang...sigh...cannot be! it has to be stop!

so today, i decided to write again....

ceritanya apabila sejak hujung minggu lepas anak ku Joshua diserang sakit paru2. Lung dia sensitif bilang tu doktor. mcm ada tanda2 asma. walaupun saya tidak tahu keturunan siapakah yang ada asma. poor joshua. masuk semalam sudah 4x dia kena neb. cuma syukurlah dia behave bagus kali ini. tidak spt sebelumnya mesti mcm rasa masuk gelanggang tinju lah. berperang bagai mau bagi joshua duduk diam kena neb. tapi 4x kena neb it was a very smooth journey for the both of us.

Dalam keadaan sy larat 8 bulan mengandung...memang cabaran betul rasanya menjaga anak2 yang sakit. apa lagi jayden pun mulai terjangkit. apa tidak, joshua 1st demam kemudian saya dan jayden. flu..batuk sakit tekak memang menyedihkan time mengandung..apa lagi kena bawa perut yang besar. Saya selalu marah husband saya yg mcm tidak berapa faham keadaan orang mengandung. bawa perut buncit dengan bawa nyawa dlm rahim is a very different feeling. Mau tunduk pun susah..apa tah lagi turun naik dlm rumah 2 tingkat mengurus rumah and anak2.

bila saya sebut saya selalu marah,,,sy tidak marah like menengking2 pun...if u really know me...i am not that kind of person...pantang saya sebenarnya suka marah2. marah2 saya banyak simpan dalam hati. mengeluarkannya dari mulut saya adalah the last thing yang akan saya buat.

Jadi bila dengan badan tidak sihat dan terpaksa jaga anak2 sakit....memang saya struggle.

one day...ada boss saya tanya saya..kenapa asyik duduk dalam bilik (my room)? berjalan keliling ofis supaya mudah beranak. My boss means very well. I know. Dan saya tidak terasa pun. Sebab mmg dihujung pregnancy kita digalakkan banyak pergerakan supaya proses kelahiran itu menjadi lebih mudah dan cepat. Saya jawab dengan boss saya...'cuma di ofis lah saya dapat duduk diam dan fokus apa yang saya mahu buat. Sebab bila saya di rumah...saya hanya akan dapat duduk paling lama 5 min unless semua anak2 sudah tidur".

Memang betul. saya sampai rumah...tiada lain...kasi makan anak2 jadi fokus saya dulu. diri sendiri demam kadang2 tidak terurus. yg ptg joshua n jayden selesai. Selepas tu kerja rumah as usual menunggu. Laundry...beg taska anak2 kena bongkar...air sejuk kena ada dlm fridge kalau tidak husband membebel...masak air...ambil kain d jemuran...lipat....next batch of jemuran nanti menunggu...kemas rumah...kemas rumah kemas rumah..sebab anak2 sudah mulai main menghambur semua barang permainan....

sambil2 buat kerja rumah...jayden merengkek...mau didukung...mau susu...joshua pula mau susu...semua mau dilayan....penat dari ofis menghadap kerja ofis belum setel tapi kena ttp sabar menghadapi anak2 dan suami yang kalau boleh iphone tu x boleh lepas dari tangan...

to some...will advise comunicate...well siapa2 kawin komunikasi adalah basic thing! Tapi kalau sudah cakap pun masih itu juga...itu yg satu pihak akan lebih mendiamkan diri dan bertindak menjadi kuat sendiri tanpa bergantung harap dari orang lain....

kepenatan yang saya alami yang2x ganda dari biasa mungkin sebab saya pregnant... memang sukar sebenarnya. tp rezeki sudah Tuhan kasi...mcm mana mau halang pun DIA kasi...so i guess all i need is to be bersabar.

This time will pass. I shall get into it....

Apapun disebalik semua kepayahan saya, saya tetap memilih untuk mengucap syukur..syukur sebab ada banyak benda mau disyukurkan....dan sy bersyukur Tuhan lah yang memberikan kekuatan itu kepada ku untuk melalui semua perkara...i just want to thank God for that...

oklah,,,till the next entry, tidak tau bila. sebab soon very soon saya akan terbang balik sabah.

till then...always be thankful.

God bless.

Happy a brand New Year 2015

Hi Hello guys..my loyal readers ...ahakks...

It's 2015. How was your new year so far?

Mine? Well it didn't start well at the beginning. The day before new year, my husband and I have some issues or a bit misunderstanding on one really merepek issue that end up both of us didnt talk to each other. Hahaha. What a bad starting I guess. I was hoping new year eve tu we will have some reflection on what we have been through throughout the year of 2014 and what things that both of us can improve in the future. But somehow it didn't happened as what I wished for. Anyway, let leave things behind. As we back to our 2nd hometown in KL, we only have each other..me .. my husband and our sons. I guess that normal for husband and wife. So we back to normal again before we going back to KL. :)

Anyway, office is as usual. But as for this year...I have different perspective especially towards my career. Since I was promoted to higher post, i have this tendency to do much better and i always like to push myself...before I took my leave on the 20th December last year, I was working very hard that almost every day I spent more than 10 hours at my office. Well so many dateline and I was like I need to this I need to that. 

But for this year...I still want to do my very best in my career..I still want to further my studies..but somehow my mind is very much lighter and less stress I guess. I'll do what I can do at my very best..I'll try to execute my work during office hours without any delay and i'll try to maximizing my 8 hours working. And having said that, that means I'll try to leave on time also (if possible).

As always family comes first. Now that we will having our 3rd baby on the mid of April.. I have to focus on raising our kids. All of them are still very small. Leaving them too long at the nursery is just not good for their growth. Even though if we have helper in the future I don't think I will take advantage on my helper. Helper is still helper or maid is still a maid. They can't never replace a mother love.

So that's me for this year..

How about you guys? Anyway i leave my entry today with a very short and sharp advice from the former CEO Cola Cola that I got from my whatsapp group. To some, it is irrelevent. but to me..i pretty agree with him.

so here it goes..

“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them – Work, Family, Health, Friends and Spirit and you’re keeping all of these in the air.

You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – Family, Health, Friends and Spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these; they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for it.

Work efficiently during office hours and leave on time. Give the required time to your family, friends and have proper rest. Value has a value only if its value is valued.”

Ok..till the next time... I promise will upload some pictures in my next entry..

18.12.2014

So today I came early than usual at office so i think i still have time to jot down here before i'm leaving for a long holiday...yeppp today is my last working day for 2014..thanked God...

Yesterday was a very long day...It was supposed a very special day for 2 reasons...

One is that it was my mum birthday yesterday... as I reached at my office yesterday..i called my father (because my mum doesnt have her own hp). But unfortunately my mum already left to her óffice' (p jual sayur guys)...so i just have a short conversation with my dad and then i hung up...

2nd is that...yesterday marked my 8th year in service...i really couldnt think that i can go beyond this...

the all old memories from the moment i apply job through SPA and then taking twice for PTD exam...still fresh in my mind.

But those were sweet memories that i shall keep to myself until joshua, jayden and the 3rd older enough to listen to my story..hehehe

And i will remember yesterday as the day that I really my pushed myself to finished my work. In this task that i was assigned to do is really tough for me. I am far from any multimedia skill. I have very basic knowledge and skill in multimedi. simple powerpoint boleh lah ...but this time i was in the team of penerbitan. So my friend and I was in charge in designing the JPA Buletin Transform. Some of u may have know about this buletin if u happened to join any pameran of  #myGST4U. Though my part is not much as my friend have but i still consider it a tough job.

After meeting, there is so many amendments to do yet i have very little time left. I was crying when I know I have to finished my task before going for Christmas holiday (since I have no choice). I cried to God.."lord please give me wisdom".. the pressure really on me...

End up yesterday i finished (90% completed) at 745pm. My head is spinning and my whole body trembling and I almost knocked a car yesterday (tiba2 kereta tu slow and i was driving like crazy semalam) because I was so exhausted that I hardly can think straight.

All the way to my home, my mouth couldn't stop mumbling...and mengeluh...

But that was yesterday story....I know it 'was a part of my journey in this PTD career. Sometimes u have ups and down...sometimes u have slumber bosses sometimes u will encounter a very strict boss + a perfectionist bosses..well I guess is all for my learning process to which boss i will be in the future...

So 8 years down..many years is waiting for me....and for my next step..i will and force myself to further my studies pula...time is running and i need to gather my strength so that i will still on the right track and of course...of all my dreams..i still want to be the woman that God want me to be...

so bring it on...

Lets just move on and keep your spirit high...happy anniversary batch 2/2006.

It's either you doing something or nothing...

Morning..


Website blog saya ini tidak stabil..sekejap di block sekejap dia ok.

So sementara pagi ni (baru sampai ofis) boleh on better saya share regarding my job TODAY!

Ya yang saya pernah janji janji manis di entry sebelumnya kan..so today i want to fulfill that promise...

So Being promoted apart from kenaikan gaji of course tanggungjawab dan expectancy from ur superior will be more different and of course they expect more from you...

So dalam proses transisi being 48 in PTD's career...baru 2 bulan..memang tidak dinafikan ada perubahan bukan saja dari segi cara berfikir cara bertindak tapi juga dari segi jadual waktu saya di office!

Berada dlm bahagian yang so called memantau dan melaksanakan mewar-warkan tentang transformasi perkhidmatan awam...well actually i was skeptical about that first.

But after 2 months here, actually I like the words Transformation. In fact, i want to be part in that process. I want to see my country is moving forward just like Australia, UK, Spore, not to mention India who had been making more transformation in their public service...

So here..my job is more to penulisan, terlibat dengan event dan kerja-kerja penerbitan..

I dont have any 41 or 44 nor i have sepecific PT to help me...my division is using matric system.. it is quite hard at first as u go along and try adapt..actually it is ok and somehow u feel like working in the private...

So that was a little intro about my job...

so whats with the title lah kan?...

now here u go...

bekerja dalam sistem matrik ni..u takde specific unit or task...anytime ur big boss akan bagi kerja kepada sesiapa yang dia nak...dan kerja u akan berubah2 ikut team siapa and project manager tu siapa...

cuma menjadi lumrah alam kalau bos sudah mulai tau kekuatan seseorang memang akan ada lah sts kerja utk orang tu..

so last meeting my big boss cakap bekerja dalam sistem matrik ni... ít's either you doing something or nothing..means..kalau dalam banyak2 officer tu tiba2 u seorang yg diam boss x banyak bagi kerja..hati2 itu indicator buruk namanya...

actually to be honest that kind of statement memang sedikit menakutkan saya. saya pegawai paling muda (lapor diri) di bahagian tu. 2 bulan sebenarnya masih belum banyak kerja saya yang orang bilang betul wow...

penulisan kita ikut by team...event by team...dan jujur cakap saya agak takut kalau2 saya dikalangan orang yang doing nothing..

I am not here to impress my big boss....but i do hope my big boss nampak kelebihan saya dimana-mana...walaupun bab multimedia sy memang out....

so itulah cabaran kerja di tempat saya...tidak seperti dahulu...sekarang kadang2 bukan saya mau tapi sometimes saya terpaksa stay sampai 630 pm di office utk siapkan kerja2 saya. Banyak dateline yang kena kejar...

Kalau dulu anak2 saya akan pastikan dan usahakan tidak lebih 630pm sy akan ambil mereka di taska. Tapi sekarang rekod terburuk saya adalah jam 8pm. Tinggal anak2 saya lagi di taska.

Sedih...yes memang sedih...but i dont have choice. I cannot do my work at home..sebab prinsip saya rumah adalah waktu utk anak2 dan suami.

dan oleh sebab itu juga...sy berfikir i think i am ready to further my study...so next year is my target mohon HLP. Walaupun dengan bertambahnya tanggungjawab dan anak juga..tapi mau tidak mau itu semua cabaran untuk saya...

I need to start somewhere...

ya....i need to...