Friday, December 19, 2014

18.12.2014

So today I came early than usual at office so i think i still have time to jot down here before i'm leaving for a long holiday...yeppp today is my last working day for 2014..thanked God...

Yesterday was a very long day...It was supposed a very special day for 2 reasons...

One is that it was my mum birthday yesterday... as I reached at my office yesterday..i called my father (because my mum doesnt have her own hp). But unfortunately my mum already left to her óffice' (p jual sayur guys)...so i just have a short conversation with my dad and then i hung up...

2nd is that...yesterday marked my 8th year in service...i really couldnt think that i can go beyond this...

the all old memories from the moment i apply job through SPA and then taking twice for PTD exam...still fresh in my mind.

But those were sweet memories that i shall keep to myself until joshua, jayden and the 3rd older enough to listen to my story..hehehe

And i will remember yesterday as the day that I really my pushed myself to finished my work. In this task that i was assigned to do is really tough for me. I am far from any multimedia skill. I have very basic knowledge and skill in multimedi. simple powerpoint boleh lah ...but this time i was in the team of penerbitan. So my friend and I was in charge in designing the JPA Buletin Transform. Some of u may have know about this buletin if u happened to join any pameran of  #myGST4U. Though my part is not much as my friend have but i still consider it a tough job.

After meeting, there is so many amendments to do yet i have very little time left. I was crying when I know I have to finished my task before going for Christmas holiday (since I have no choice). I cried to God.."lord please give me wisdom".. the pressure really on me...

End up yesterday i finished (90% completed) at 745pm. My head is spinning and my whole body trembling and I almost knocked a car yesterday (tiba2 kereta tu slow and i was driving like crazy semalam) because I was so exhausted that I hardly can think straight.

All the way to my home, my mouth couldn't stop mumbling...and mengeluh...

But that was yesterday story....I know it 'was a part of my journey in this PTD career. Sometimes u have ups and down...sometimes u have slumber bosses sometimes u will encounter a very strict boss + a perfectionist bosses..well I guess is all for my learning process to which boss i will be in the future...

So 8 years down..many years is waiting for me....and for my next step..i will and force myself to further my studies pula...time is running and i need to gather my strength so that i will still on the right track and of course...of all my dreams..i still want to be the woman that God want me to be...

so bring it on...

Lets just move on and keep your spirit high...happy anniversary batch 2/2006.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

It's either you doing something or nothing...

Morning..


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So sementara pagi ni (baru sampai ofis) boleh on better saya share regarding my job TODAY!

Ya yang saya pernah janji janji manis di entry sebelumnya kan..so today i want to fulfill that promise...

So Being promoted apart from kenaikan gaji of course tanggungjawab dan expectancy from ur superior will be more different and of course they expect more from you...

So dalam proses transisi being 48 in PTD's career...baru 2 bulan..memang tidak dinafikan ada perubahan bukan saja dari segi cara berfikir cara bertindak tapi juga dari segi jadual waktu saya di office!

Berada dlm bahagian yang so called memantau dan melaksanakan mewar-warkan tentang transformasi perkhidmatan awam...well actually i was skeptical about that first.

But after 2 months here, actually I like the words Transformation. In fact, i want to be part in that process. I want to see my country is moving forward just like Australia, UK, Spore, not to mention India who had been making more transformation in their public service...

So here..my job is more to penulisan, terlibat dengan event dan kerja-kerja penerbitan..

I dont have any 41 or 44 nor i have sepecific PT to help me...my division is using matric system.. it is quite hard at first as u go along and try adapt..actually it is ok and somehow u feel like working in the private...

So that was a little intro about my job...

so whats with the title lah kan?...

now here u go...

bekerja dalam sistem matrik ni..u takde specific unit or task...anytime ur big boss akan bagi kerja kepada sesiapa yang dia nak...dan kerja u akan berubah2 ikut team siapa and project manager tu siapa...

cuma menjadi lumrah alam kalau bos sudah mulai tau kekuatan seseorang memang akan ada lah sts kerja utk orang tu..

so last meeting my big boss cakap bekerja dalam sistem matrik ni... ít's either you doing something or nothing..means..kalau dalam banyak2 officer tu tiba2 u seorang yg diam boss x banyak bagi kerja..hati2 itu indicator buruk namanya...

actually to be honest that kind of statement memang sedikit menakutkan saya. saya pegawai paling muda (lapor diri) di bahagian tu. 2 bulan sebenarnya masih belum banyak kerja saya yang orang bilang betul wow...

penulisan kita ikut by team...event by team...dan jujur cakap saya agak takut kalau2 saya dikalangan orang yang doing nothing..

I am not here to impress my big boss....but i do hope my big boss nampak kelebihan saya dimana-mana...walaupun bab multimedia sy memang out....

so itulah cabaran kerja di tempat saya...tidak seperti dahulu...sekarang kadang2 bukan saya mau tapi sometimes saya terpaksa stay sampai 630 pm di office utk siapkan kerja2 saya. Banyak dateline yang kena kejar...

Kalau dulu anak2 saya akan pastikan dan usahakan tidak lebih 630pm sy akan ambil mereka di taska. Tapi sekarang rekod terburuk saya adalah jam 8pm. Tinggal anak2 saya lagi di taska.

Sedih...yes memang sedih...but i dont have choice. I cannot do my work at home..sebab prinsip saya rumah adalah waktu utk anak2 dan suami.

dan oleh sebab itu juga...sy berfikir i think i am ready to further my study...so next year is my target mohon HLP. Walaupun dengan bertambahnya tanggungjawab dan anak juga..tapi mau tidak mau itu semua cabaran untuk saya...

I need to start somewhere...

ya....i need to...


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