the end.......

Finally...i have finished my LNPT and orang lain punya LNPT...i dun have the intention to elaborate on that......so friends...this would be my final entry for this 2008...i'm going back for a long holiday...starting this 22 Dis 2008 - 3 Jan 2009...as i shared with uols before this, i will going back to my hometown...to the tip of borneo...

ehmmmm....i would like to express my biggest THANKS'..to (especially yang baca blog sy ni lah)

1-kiera....thank you for the card...that was my 1st card for this year....sorry for not having lunch with u today...thanks for all the help....u're such a helpful friend indeed...for many things....it's been a blessing to have friends like you...

2-vien...selamat bercuti juga....sorry juga untuk semua kata2 sy yang tidak membangun tidak mendorong...apa2 lah yang sy terlepas...ko kawan saya yang 'meneutralkan' saya dalam banyak perkara..ahahahha....

3-airin....thanks utk semua....susah payah ambil saya time lunch hour...(especially on friday)...next time kita ganti2 la..kan.....looking forward tuk keluar shopping dengan u....i like shopping with u..becos...u help me to be myself when shopping time! thanks fren...

ehmmm....banyak sebenarnya orang2 yang sy mau ucap tq....tapi mereka inilah yang setia membaca blog sy....utk teman2 lain....i love uols....i know even more..Jesus love u too...
Have a blessed holiday...and enjoy Christmas(dah wish dah before ni)

jumpa tahun 2009....

Yeremia 29:11
'sebab Aku ini mengetahui rancangan-rancangan apa yang ada pada-Ku mengenai kamu, demikianlah Firman Tuhan, yaitu rancangan damai sejahtera dan bukan rancangan kecelakaan, untuk memberikan kepada mu hari depan yang penuh harapan'.

my 1st tag...

As i promised to my friend yang telah men'tagging' saya...(upssssss..sorry DBP)...


1. Do you think you are HOT?
me??? i dunno la....


2. Upload you fav pic.


3.Why do you like this picture?
actually semua gambar saya suka..but then this one..sy suka sangat cos sangat ceria...seceria
orangnya..hehhee..and 1 more thing inilah cara pemakaian sy..simple and selesa...


4. When was the last time u ate pizza?
ehm...tahun lepas kot...during DPA...dengan my friend airin...huhuh..that was a long time
ago...becos i dun like pizza..


5. The last song u listen to?
cinta Yesus - Agnes santoso


6. What are you doing right now besides this?
habiskan kerja-kerja terakhir sebelum cuti


7. What name u prefer besides yours?
lola..(comel kan)


8. People I tag:- since mau cuti sudah..so i dun think they have time...so the tagging stop here!


since soalan no.9-dan seterusnya (hehehe siapa yg tag saya ni taulah yang mana satu)...sy tiada jawapan tuk semua soalan tu...hehehehe...because i dun rank my friend....:)

okies dokies....

love uols!

kasi campur semua...

orait i'll make it fast....semalam (18 Disember 2008) kami punya so-called 2nd anniversary dalam perkhidmatan awam...semalam bertugas di Dewan Negara..semalam juga hari jadi mama sy yang ke 50 tahun...huhuhu..50???...patut celebrate luar biasa ni..hehehe...ok itulah yang berlaku semalam...mau cerita satu-satu panjang pula...mau ingat2 cerita lama....akan jadi 1001 cerita nanti..

by the way...yesterday was a long day for me and a very tired day....

and today....pagi2 ada taklimat option cuti rehat..still belum decide lagi..tapi setelah mengambil kira dan menimbang-nimbang pendapat yang lain...ehm..tidak pasti lagi.....hehehehe tp yang pastinya kena decide today since today is my last day working...

whoooooooaaaaaaaaaa.....last day kerja banyak pula kena settel.....

forgiveness...

it's wednesday morning...still 2 days to go...(excluded today)..really i'm counting my days to go back and meet my lovely family....sound like i am homesick...but YES!...there a strong feeling inside me that cannot wait to see them..is like a reunion for us..as 1 biG family...as I always call my family as 'The Nny'Dys Family'...

Tapi apa kena mengena 'forgiveness' dengan reunion kan??? hehhehe...actually, this morning before i had my breakfast with two lovely preetiest friend aka my colleque...i had come across with 1 article that been sent to my email....it is a very lovely message..and I really want to it share with u all...

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs."

Sometimes the hardest thing to say is "I'm sorry", to admit that we have hurt someone. The only thing that can be harder is to forgive those who have hurt us. (siapa agree, katakan Yes ja dalam hati, heheheh)..ok and the story goes like this....

"I grew up in a small Texas town where we had moved the day after my father's funeral. We were poor, living in what some would call a "shack" on the edge of town. My amazing mother worked three jobs to support three children as well as my grandmother who lived with us. Her main job was as a nurse in the hospital nursery where she took care of newborns.
As a child, I was frequently sick with a cold, ear infection or the flu. It seemed as if I was at the doctor's office almost every week during the winter. We had very little money but we did have a family doctor who was a friend and colleague of my mother. In fact, they worked side-by-side each day at the one and only hospital in town. Knowing our financial circumstances, this doctor and his wife often asked my mom to baby-sit to earn extra money and since they had five children, I was often recruited to go with her as a backup.
Over the years, this doctor often took care of our medical needs, charging us nothing. Little did I know the high price I would have to pay. This doctor was my friend, a man I respected, and a man I trusted -- until the day that he molested me. The hurt, pain and betrayal were so great that I locked it away in some dark corner of my soul, refusing to admit it had ever happened. I told no one.
Fast forward twenty years to the time when I was happily married to Dan Southerland, a pastor and my best friend, and had two wonderful children. Our church was exploding in growth. I had started traveling and speaking for women's conferences and retreats, and loved it! Everything on the outside looked great, successful and very right but inside, the past slowly ate away at my very being until, one day, my world collapsed and I sank into a pit of clinical depression. I was paralyzed emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. The simple tasks seemed like impossible mountains to climb. Panic attacks became a daily event. I stepped out of ministry and out of life as I had known it.
I began to uncover the wounds I had so desperately tried to ignore most of my life. Instead of dealing with those wounds, I kept insanely busy in a vain attempt to earn God's favor and the approval of others. My worth seemed to rest on the foundation of doing, instead of being. I soon discovered that one of the main reasons I had fallen into that pit was because I refused to face and deal with the pain of my past, but with the help of a loving husband, a Christian psychiatrist and a brilliant family doctor, I began to make slow but steady progress in climbing out of that dark, slimy pit. Then, I remembered.
I remembered that day in the doctor's office. I remembered it all and when that awful memory slammed into my life, I fell apart. I hated that man. I wanted him to pay for what he had done to me. I wanted him to hurt like I had been hurt. I also knew that somehow, I had to let my pain go and forgive him, or I would be trapped for the rest of my life. God and I began to work through every painful, horrifying moment of that memory.
Months passed, and the day came when Dan asked me to speak for the five worship services of our church. When I asked him what the topic was, he smiled and simply said, "Forgiveness." I knew what God was up to and being the mature and godly woman that I was, I was furious! "That man does not deserve forgiveness, Lord" I ranted. My Father whispered, "Neither do you, child." I was still angry. "Lord, he is the one that hurt me," I cried. "Just as you have hurt me," He responded. I wasn't through. "I think it is only fair for me to wait for him to make the first move. And then he needs to come crawling on his hands and knees, begging for my forgiveness!" In the silence, I heard the words of the Great Physician, a voice I have come to love so much, "Aren't you glad I didn't wait for you to come to me?"
I suddenly realized I had a choice to make. I could choose to hang on to my anger and bitterness, making him my jailer, or I could choose to forgive him and set myself free! But I just couldn't forgive him on my own, so I did what David did. I cried out to God.
Psalm 40:1-3a (NIV) "I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit; out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God."
As I wrestled with the choice to forgive, I learned several life-changing truths:
If we make the choice to forgive, God will supply the forgiveness.
There should be no limit to our forgiveness because there is no limit to His.
Forgiveness is not a feeling or an emotion. Forgiveness is a deliberate choice.
Forgiveness is our greatest need and God's greatest gift."

While we cannot change the past, we can change our response to the past and dictate the power it has over us. If our greatest need had been information, God would have sent an educator. If our greatest need had been technology, God would have sent a scientist, but because our greatest need was and is forgiveness, God sent a Savior, Jesus Christ, who is calling us all to a higher place, a place of forgiveness. The choice is ours to make. Today, we can choose freedom by choosing to forgive.

ok, sy sangat diberkati dengan sharing ni...maybe kawan2 pun ada perkara yang pernah berlaku dalam hidup kawan2 yang susah untuk dilupakan...dan mungkin sangat sukar untuk memaafkan...sy sendiri pernah melalui sesuatu yang 'hitam' dalam hidup sy yang buat sy sangat benci orang itu dan sukar untuk memaafkan..bertahun-tahun lamanya sy pendam, sy simpan dalam hati dan sy tidak mau 'deal' dengan hal itu dan sy mau biarkan ja..meaning to say 'biarkan saja'..yes i did forget hal itu but then i forget to forgive....but then Praise the Lord..He deal with my heart a few years back...during i was studying at UPM...He restore my heart...and 3 years ago...i can forgive hal itu with all my heart....and i can 'berhadapan' dengan hal itu after my heart been dipulihkan....of course...perkara yang berlaku tidak akan padam dalam memori sy but then...sy tidak lagi dihantui rasa kebencian....bahkan sy merasa aman dan damai......dan of course kekuatan untuk mengampuni adalah bukan sesuatu yang mudah tapi percayalah ketika sy meletakkan semuanya kepada Tuhan Yesus..and i choose to forgive and forget....ada damai sejahtera dalam hati saya...tidak lagi berdendam...another thing yang sy belajar...Tuhan tidak pernah merencanakan sesuatu yang tidak baik buat kita anak-anak Nya....sebab sy pernah menyalahkan Tuhan kenapa sy mesti melalui semua itu...kenapa mesti sy..tapi sy belajar....dan sy melihat Tangan Tuhan tidak pernah pendek menolong sy...hari-hari yang sukar..Tuhan memberi kekuatan kepada saya untuk melaluinya..Tuhan beri kekuatan untuk sy mengampuni dan melupakan...dan hari-hari ini Tuhan beri kekuatan kepada sya untuk tersenyum kepada semua orang....

Ok..panjang pula....till here....love uols...Jesus loves u....

p/s-someone tag me..tapi nanti lah sy buat yang itu ye...before sy balik....

Krismas

Bila berbicara mengenai krismas, pasti semua orang akan terbayang...pokok krismas (pic below), santa claus, stokin, ayam turkey...etc..etc....salji???....dan caroling.....di sana sini....yang menariknya kalau kita ke mall-mall, spt midvalley, mines, The curve....apa lagi..sebutkan saja di Lembah Klang....pasti tidak ceria kalau tidak ada dekorasi Krismas....warna merah/emas/putih/ hijau akan kelihatan di sana sini......dan kalau kanak-kanak pasti tertunggu-tunggu kemunculan Uncle santa claus(pic below)....kiranya...mcam-macam ada.....di tambah lagi krismas disambut pada 25hb disember dihujung tahun....suasana tahun baru pun bercampur aduk....

but then friend, pernahkah kita terfikir kenapa adanya Krismas? mengapa orang-orang kristian menyambut Krismas?..apakah krismas adaslah waktu kita menghias rumah dengan pokok-pokok krismas, tukar-tukar hadiah, shopping...atau tidak sabar tunggu uncle santa...atau apapun lah pengertiannya pada kita....ok before i go on...sy ingin katakan i'm not anti to those things yang sy sebutkan tadi....tapi friends, maksud Krismas adalah lebih daripada itu...

Yes,...Jesus is the reason why we celebrate Christmas.....krismas ada kerna Tuhan begitu mengasihi kita semua sehingga mengaruniakan Anak-Nya yang tunggal untuk datang ke dunia bagi kita semua. Tahun-tahun yang lepas semasa sy masih kanak-kanak, sy paling happy krismas,,kenapa? sebab masa inilah ibu bapa sya kan membelikan sy dan adik-beradik sy yang lain baju baru/kasut baru (till now actually)...awal bulan disember semua ibu bapa di kg sy akan berusaha bekerja abis-abisan just to make sure anak-anak mereka mendapatkan baju baru atau anything baru on that special day. Sy ingat lagi, sy dengan adik perempuan sy (yang di UM), baju krismas mesti lebih kurang sama saja...kalau tidak sama, pasti kami adik-beradik akan bergaduh.,sebab tidak puas hati. Lepas tu, dulu-dulu waktu kecil, kalau boleh kami tidak mau beli baju di pekan kudat, sebab takut sama baju nanti dengan cousin2 di kg...mesti kami pergi KK(ibu negeri Sabah)...yg famous masa itu..center point...lucu pula kalau diingat balik..pas tu paling best, kami tidak sabar2 berkumpul di rumah sebelah bapa..sebab mau tunggu hadiah dari uncle kami(adik bapa sy paling bungsu)...kira2 macam santa claus pula...but then...as time flies...kami pun membesar...saya mulai mengerti banyak hal...statement di atas, sy jumpa ketika sy balik cuti krismas tahun 2005...ketika saya melihat itu, dan sy renungkan...sy menangis..(dalam hati ja...sebab seingat sy dlm kereta masa itu, otw to kudat)...memang benar, tanpa YESUS, krismas is NOTHING. Ramai orang mulai meraikan krismas kerna tradisi...tidak lagi mengingat atau lupa Essensi Krismas yang sebenarnya. Pada saya, kelahiran Yesus di dunia ini adalah permulaan segalanya. Kerna Dia lahir, ada TERANG baru dan HARAPAN baru buat semua orang. Tuhan begitu sayang dan cinta kepada manusia sehingga DIA menanggalkan semua kemulianNya dan menjadi manusia sama seperti kita...kerna Yesus lahir, ada JALAN buat kita untuk sampai kepada BAPA di SUrga...

Friends, pada saya, tidak salah ada pokok krismas, ada tukar-tukar hadiah...asal saja kita tidak melupakan essensi Krismas....tidak salah kita caroling di rumah-rumah, asal motivasi kita betul yakni memberitakan kelahiran Tuhan Yesus...biar semua yang kita lakukan itu adalah untuk Tuhan.

Tahun ni, sy akan bercuti dan menyambut Krismas di kg bersama family sy after 2 years sy menyambutnya di bumi semenanjung...tahun 2006-waktu PTD unggul dan tahun 2007-waktu DPA. Tahun 2008-biarlah sy sambut dengan famly sy.

" Yesus lahir memberi terang baru

Yesus mati memberi keselamatan

Tiada dapat ku berikan

selain semua hidupku

Kau Yesus Tuhan dan raja ku

Yesus

Yesus

Kau terbesar di dalam hidupku

Yesus

Yesus

Ku tinggi kan nama Mu

Raja segala raja di bumi

Raja segala raja di bumi"

To all my friends out there...wishing you a very Merry Christmas..GOD BLESS...

Perubahan.......

hari ni jumaat..ok semua orang taula kan hari ni hari jumaat....ada 2 minggu lagi sy kerja dalam tahun ni..huhu....Pa tidak sabar mau balik kg oooo....miss my family, miss my hometown very very very very very very the muchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...........................kerja pun(sorry my KPSU/SUB)....sudah kurang mood kerja bulan ni.mood holiday benar2 mencengkam diri..;)...sy teringat perasaan yg sy alami ni kan macam zaman uni....kalau sudah cuti tu, malas sudah...hmmm..i know it's not a good habit actually.......jadi akan ku gagahkan juga bekerja dalam 2 minggu mendatang ini...ehm,...just now...time tengah buat blog ni, my very dedicate clerk datang jumpa sy tanya pasal surat kelulusan PSM tuk sy balik ke wilayah asal (hehehe-land below the wind lah)...i thought when SUB dah luluskan cuti then my permohonan diluluskan it settle already..tp rupanya surat kelulusan dari PSM tu pula termiss....ok.....bila raihan tanya sy...whether sy simpan atau tidak...sy dengan jujurnya katakan sy tidak simpan (moral of the story renny-buat copy dulu) and then sy suda kasi semua kepada SUB..(ok dalam hati a bit takut...dan confuse..kenapa belum settle)?????...tanya PA SUB sama ada dia nampak atau tidak...ehm, part ni sy kurang suka...sebab apa....dia marah2....ayooo,...ok maybe she's not in a good mood or maybe masa tu sudah mau dekat 4.30pm...ok i'll try to understand....then i try to call my fren at PSM...2x ring...3xring.."no yang anda dail tidak berjawab"...ok....pause...try again....2x ring 3 x ring....then she answered....ok syukur she willing to help me...tapi next week baru dia kasi..she asked me to call her by tuesday at 9am....hopefully she will remember this...kalau tak..ehmmmmm....so begitulah ceritanya....time2 sy tengah homesick dengan family..sy dikejutkan dengan berita spt itu....Puji Tuhan...ada damai sejahtera dalam hati sy...sy berusaha setenang yang mungkin....kerna I remember what God say in His BOOK,...'kerna ketenangan itu adalah kekuatan mu'....i can't remember dalam mana tapi it is written in Isaiah....so itulah yang berlaku...syukur juga sy sudah selesai report pemantauan dan sy hantar sekaligus memo waktu sy ke langkawi..i know it's also not a good habit,suka menunda-nunda....(Tuhan,aku mau berubah)...ehmm...sy sudah terfikir 1000 perkara yang perlu sy upgrade dalam sikap saya...and I need God strength to strengthen me to make those changes....(hati kecil teringat motto ESC..'Perubahan bukanlah perubahan sampai terjadi suatu perubahan)..meaning..sy perlu berubah.....antusias Renny! Berubah! Berubah!Berubah!..

hohoho..

tadi..my friend airin..send me a christmas song..huhu..thanx airin..really appreciate it..and u noe what..,.that song make me lagi nak balik rumah......aku mau balik oooooo......

selingan...

taraaaaaaaaa...mempersembahkan Nokia 7610 Supernova.....:)

ok, inilah hp baru sy....last sunday...after dinner dengan my housemate...terasa mau p mines..jalan-jalan..then sy cakap sm hsmate sy, sy mau p survey dulu hp....then kami p mines, at first belum ada niat mau beli dulu...sampai di mines...kami terkejut gila ni.....banyak sudah perubahan di sana....sy dengan hsmate cakap macam ni..'mines ni tidaklah jauh sangat dari rumah, tapi jarang pergi'...ahahahhaha ketahuan bah jarang keluar rumah...sy kira-kira mau 2 bulan juga tidak pergi mines. Lepas tu tempat beli hp selalunya satu row dengan tempat tengok wayang tapi sudah pindah ni ke tingkat paling atas (since i'm not sure berapa tingkat mines ada)...so round2 la kami tengok2 hp....memang semua baru lah....sy ni at first memang sony ericson pilihan hati...siapa tau sampai sana bertukar pula.....dapat pula promoter tu pandai cakap (sy senang dengan tu promoter bagus cara dia tidak memaksa)..then sy fikir2 ehmmmm, oklah sy pilih yang inilah....so inilah my new 'baby' lahir pada 30 Nov 2008..(consider tarikh sy beli)....

ok apa yang menarik perhatian sy....first..hp jenis slide (ok), nipis (ok), camera 3.2 mp, autofocus/lebih kurang cybershot (ok) then harga dia ....ok yang ini memang over budget yang sy sediakan but then still consider affordable....so pusing punya pusing....sy cakap sama tu pekedai..'ok i take this'...that's it...beginilah ceritanya...of course hp ni tiada 3G..rasanya nokia kalau ada 3G memang cecah RM1K++ punya, sony ada yg below tu, TAPI...setelah di fikirkan juga...dengan siapa sy mau ber3G???family ok seorang pun tiada....kawan2....my housemate seorang ja ada, then kiera...ehmmmm???ha 2 orang ja.....hehehhehe...so sekali lagi promoter tu cakap...'miss, 3G u mesti ada kawan yg pakai 3G juga, then kalau call guna 3G mahal"...maybe sy terpengaruh dengan cakap tu orang but then ada logika nya di situ...tp dalam hati sy sempat berfikir...macam mana kalau my future bf tu..orang jauh???penting juga tu 3G....tapi fikir2 lagi balik, kalau ada rezeki lebih nanti boleh tukar balik..hp ni anytime boleh berubah...lagipula tidak semestinya 3G ja..lain alternatif ada lagi....(ceh confident ja aku ada bf jauh)..takpa lah...indah pada waktunya...okies...till here....

emotionless

ok...hari ni sya tiada mood mau tulis blog actually..because teda tau mau tulis apa....tapi tengok blog orang dan comment itulah yang sy buat...tadi pagi sy bertugas di BDC from 9.30am to 12.00noon..aduiiiiiiiiiii...bosannya duduk sana......banyak2 tempat BDC la kalau boleh sy mau elakkan...kalau dulu2 ada juga sy bagi penjelasan sama orang awam..tapi sekarang ni orang awam pun rasa kali BDC tidak membantu mereka....apa-apa sajalah.....nanti...statement sy disalah mengertikan...hari ini sy buat report untuk meeting kami esok malam..meeting???hebat juga saya kan ada meeting malam..hehehe ini meeting bukan gov malaysia punya tapi God kingdom..:)....church punya meeting....minggu ni stress juga kamiorang di rumah semua kena siapkan laporan...huhuuhu..to kiera....aku nak sangat datang sabtu ni...kalau boleh jumaat lagi...tolong apa yg patut...but then, sunday to monday aku ada hal...so everything have to settle by saturday actually. Melainkan c vien tu drive dan kami tau jalan boleh la pulang balik kot....this is part of my busyness di rumah....kalau di ofis tu report p pemantauan baru 40%...macam banyak sy mau report..tapi bila mula mau menaip pasti termenung...macam mana susun kata-kata.....beberapa hari ni juga emosi sy menjadi beku...tiada perasaan...seolah-olah sy dengan dunia sy sendiri....tulis blog pun campur aduk sudah..apa yang terbit dari minda langsung ditransferkan kepada tulisan...apa-apalah...argggggggghhhhhhhhh....mengantuk bah sebenarnya......mau balik

looking forward...

monday morning...and today 1 December 2008..o my God....it is the end of the year already....i'm so happy when thinking that i will work for 18 days only this month since i will having my holiday....to celebrate christmas and new year with my beloved family...so now i have to think what is my hair sytle this coming christmas and somemore presents to my whole family...huhu..i'm very excited....my sista and i have planned on 24th, we will bake cake, and cookies..using my kak long punya oven...ahhahaha...i dunno whether i can do it...or not, but really i want to try....and we also planned to have vacation at hotspring, ranau...stay there for a night..maybe..wow..i couldn't stop smiling at the moment...i miss my family..i miss those 'bising2' from all my nieces and nephews. i miss my mum shouting at her grandchildren...miss my father pampering all his grandchildren....miss the time me, my sista, kak long and kak ngah...gather and talking about girl stuff...huhu...miss my bro...when he is cooking..and he will say...'tengok abang masak macam mana'..heheheh.and i miss that 2 naughty bro..who is always quarell to each other...and my abang2 ipar..yang cool ja....ahahahhaha...miss my cat....miss pokok rambutan, miss my nenek, cousins....oooooooooooooooooo i know...i'm homesick now!